Hey Dude where's my pic?

Learning to dive.

Having press ganged my adoring fiance into completing a scuba course, in the off chance that we would honeymoon at a diving location, I then had to put up with tears and fears as she battled her way through the fear of sharks, embellism, sea snakes, jelly fish, piranha, ruptured air lines, poor quality air, seasickness, Portuguese man o war - and this was week 1!

By God's grace and my insistence she finished the course - although unbelievable, she blew a hose on the first pool dive - THIS NEVER HAPPENS!!!!!! Boy did I have hell to pay.

Having got her certificate and her man, miraculously we found ourselves in Vanuatu on our honeymoon. Armed with a borrowed Nikonos IVA and flash we ventured into the gin clear waters of Vanuatu: The Dive Log reads as follows:

Day 1

09:30 - Met Keith Beverly Dive Master and proceeded on his boat to Mele Reef a good introduction dive. Shallow , gin clear and heaps of fish. water temperature mid 20's - diving in sluggo's and t-shirt.
10:00 - Enter water
10:01 - Back at surface - wife said descent was too fast - depth 3 metres.
10:05 - Descend - slow descent - look up see wife on surfacer, BC inflated holding onto BC - resurface 1
10:06 - Descent too fast - depth still 3 metres.
10:07 - First argument since married ( 10 hours) - tears were shed, expletives exchanged, dive master shocked, local crew amazed (and educated in Australian language).
10:20 - Descend - all happy
10:22 - Remove stale bread form BC to feed fish
10:22 10s - Attacked by marauding reef fish (average size 6cm)
10:23 - Surface - fish are too aggressive
10:24 - Second argument since married - local crew Australian language lessons continue
10:30 - Descend - feed fish - while wife fends off small fish with her hands (I really needed a video I'm sure I could have won money on funniest home videos)
10:45 - Signal given that buddy is cold - water temperature still mid 20's
10:46 - You guessed it - locals Australian language lessons continue
10:50 - New buddy - sucked tank dry of air and had great fun
12:00 - Lunch - decide no second dive this day enough damage done

Day 2

10:00 - Met Keith Beverly Dive Master, briefed Divemaster not to brief buddy on dive. Temperature mid 20's - diving in sluggo's and t-shirt.
11:00 - Arrive Wreck of Kathleen - purpose sunk freighter for divers. On arrival can see wreck form surface and divers from Nautilus charter returning
11:10 - Descend to wreck - depth 30 metres - thumbs up not a look of concern on buddy, faint look of enjoyment
11:20 - Commence taking underwater shots of wreck and bat fish
11:25 - Buddy poses on rudder of wreck, bow of wreck, mid water for underwater shots - all smiles
11:45 - Return to Boat after Deco - all smiles, chats on boat
11:46 - Grimness hits when buddy finds out that she had dived to 30 metres - why wasn't I told etc etc etc

Day 3

10:00 - Met Keith Beverly Dive Master, briefed Divemaster to brief buddy on dive this time. Temperature mid 20's - diving in sluggo's and t-shirt.
11:00 - Arrive Wreck of Star of Russia
11:10 - Descend to wreck - depth 36 metres - vis not good
11:20 - Commence taking underwater shots of buddy in wreck and playing with large fish (average 30cm)
11:40 - Return to Boat after Deco - buddy beaming that she had conquered deep dive and survived

Day 4

Night Dive
Yeah right! paired with new buddy, usual buddy at home reading.

After this we dived most of the 10 days in Vanuatu - only on Efate though, didn't get to Espiritu Santo as available funds were spent by buddy on Duty Free.

The best post script is on return to Australia the photos were developed and pointed, apart form their poor quality and blueness, there was a distinct lack of photos of me. On investigation buddy had thought that the black rewind lever was the shutter button not the larger RED button - consequently no shots were taken!

Stand by for more fun recollections of our buddy diving adventures - yes, they are much the same... and yes, we don't buddy any more at all...she says I'm not a good buddy.

Contributed by Ric Mingramm

2003-12-02

Hey Dude where's my pic?